“On every level of life, from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgment and efforts to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure marks of the amateur”
Evelyn Underhill (As quoted in “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp)
One of the reasons I love being in London is that is where I slow down. Its a city that is full of things on offer, yet my life is more simple here. There is no rushing around. I indulge in simple pleasures like doing the laundry, buying and enjoying fresh flowers and herbs (like the ones in the photo on our kitchen counter above). I have time to watch the rain running down the window, read books, watch TV and make cups of tea. Its all about spending quality time with the kids and we do not rush to do life. I have time to enjoy my kids and contemplate who I am. Here I realize how much of my life I have spent rushing around without living fully in the moment, perhaps accomplishing plenty but not remembering much. Voskamp comments “…how I wish I could scrape away the regrets of my life lived amateur” (p.66), I wish that too! Here in the crazy, busy city of London I have learnt to live a slower, quieter life….
How I wish I could transfer this lesson to the rest of my life!!
When a good friend who cares about the welfare of my heart suggested that I use some of my time to write a blog my heart immediately responded with enthusiasm but I was also skeptical and I felt that I had nothing of value to contribute. Yet its been an idea that wouldn’t go away and I have gradually begun to understand that blogging will be “for me” and not about it having any value for anyone else.
At almost 50 I am still discovering “who I am” and what that means for my life. Part of my journey into freedom is recognizing that I want to write things down because by the very act of naming something or revealing the essence of my thoughts I am believing that I am not created for the shadows; but that who I am and my view of the world honours God, that I have a unique place and function in this cosmos.
In the light of all this it seems appropriate that I start blogging with a painting I did a few years ago on the same topic; followed by some words of a song that were also important at that time…
I am FREE TO BE ME
Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I’ve got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I’ve got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe…
……Even though ….(Chorus)
…..I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me
By: Francesca Battistelli
(From the Album: My Paper Heart)